Firstly, Johanna would kill me if I didn’t mention that I was grumpy from the start. That’s mostly my fault, but I think we both contributed to the rocky start. My idea of camping and packing the car is vastly different from hers, and as I rushed about that morning, it became clear to me that this was going to be an experience in compromise. We finally got everything packed in Mom and Dad’s Jeep (BARELY) and set off for the campsite.

Upon arriving, I set up the tent while the kids competed to see who could ask “Whe are we going to the beach?!?’ the loudest. When we finally got to the beach, we discovered that while Aiden loves to scream bloody murder every time he dives into the water – out of sheer excitement, James loves to scream bloody murder every time the water chases him – out of sheer terror. Yes, James suffers from hydrophobia, and here we were at the lake. Great.

Can you see where this is going? My Dad told me years ago that vacations are for the kids, not the parents. He couldn’t have been more right. The kids enjoyed themselves tremendously. I was stretched more than I would like to admit, but in the end I think I finally calmed down enough to have a little bit of a good time out there.

Without making this narrative any more boring, here are some selected highlights:

• The air mattress we borrowed from Mom and Dad comes with a pump that hooks up to the car cigarette lighter. But the pump was missing the electric cable…so I ended up filling it with lung power anyway. Twice.
• The kids LOVED learning how to play “Kick the Can” – and I am glad. It was one of my favorite games as a kid.
• Johanna can toast marshmallows so that the bottom is still white, and the top has mushroomed like an atomic explosion.
• Aiden likes to stand in the middle of the road at night.
• James likes to eat fruit snacks that have been left in a hot car to melt into liquid-sugar. When he does this, everything within reach is covered in a sticky film.
• Johanna is better at keeping a fire going than the only Eagle Scout on the trip. This is embarassing.
• James is really close to being potty trained. So is Aiden. One day he got into the tent to change, and started screaming. I opened the tent only to find him running in circles peeing all over the place because “he couldn’t hold it anymore!” I threw him into a bush outside the tent and screamed “go there!” but the damage was done. Johanna says it’s a good thing urine evaporates.
• If you sleep next to a really stinky outhouse, and already smell like two days worth of camping, a tent that was peed in doesn’t have any noticeable odor.
• Johanna knows how to cook amazingly good meals, even when camping. But she does forget things once in a while – like ketchup and mustard for the hot dogs.

A whole lot more happened, like when Johanna’s brother’s boat broke 5 minutes before they had promised to take the kids out onto the lake. Or when I showed Aiden and his cousins how to clean out a dutch oven using nothing but dirt and water (yes, it really works, too!)

I think it’s safe to say that the next time I have vacation saved up from work, I will take four days for a trip with the kids, and another four to recover from the trip with the kids.

We had a wonderful time at the Hines Mansion in Provo. The penthouse suite was an awesome room that Johanna just loved to death. There was a hot tub, sparkling cider, rose petals, the works. Not bad, in my opinion, and for the right price, too.

Saturday we started out by buying some shoes for Johanna, since she forgot to bring any pair other than her dress shoes from the wedding dinner…and they are the most uncomfortable shoes in the world. Believe me, I tried them on…erm…I mean…just kidding. We also noticed as we were leaving the Hines Mansion that we didn’t have a camera. I had been migrating Johanna’s bags from her Mom’s car, and had missed the camera because it wasn’t in the back seat with the rest of ‘em. So when we bought the shoes, we bought two disposable cameras. One has already been used up, the other will soon join it.

The drive to Vegas took FOR-EV-ER! Nascar enthusiasts clogged the freeway so badly that it took over an hour to go three miles on the freeway. Once we got past the race track, it improved a bit. But since we had a dinner reservation at Excalibur at 8:30, we were in panic mode and it was not a pleasant drive.

Once we got to the hotel, we parked the car, ran to get a taxi to take us to the show, and en route saw his clock was at 6:45, not 7:45 like ours. I took out my cell phone, and sure enough, it said 6:45 as well. Stupid time zone difference had us both worked up and now we had an hour to kill instead of each other! So, we went to the M&M factory to look around, and will go back to buy stuff before we leave.

The Tournament of Kings was AMAZING and LOUD! Well worth the money spent, and we bought a nice picture to remember the time there. And we were so tired by the time the show ended, we decided that we would sleep in the next morning, and hit an 11:00 sacrament meeting instead of the 9:00 one.

After attending church, we decided to drive out Hoover Dam for a dam tour, some dam pictures, all the dam jokes I could think of telling, and the best dam excuse I could ever hope for to sound like Grandpa Dodge. There was a sign clearly posted that said no pets were allowed on the dam, and yet I saw a number of ladies carrying lap-dogs around. Johanna wouldn’t let me say “Hey Lady, didn’t you see the sign? No dam dogs!” I was rather disappointed. We had a couple good laughs about that. But enough dam talk, let’s get on with the rest of the day.

Actually, that is all we have done so far today. We will be having sandwiches for dinner soon, and later this evening we will go see some of the free stuff that is here, so we don’t break the sabbath. In a few minutes, I will let Johanna post her version of the recent events here for your enjoyment. Hearing two sides of the story is always more entertaining than hearing just one. Hers will likely be a lot shorter than mine, I ramble a bit. Anywho, we are having a grand time here. More later!